Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
