actually, I'm a sock model
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
