He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
