i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
