Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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