i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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