shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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