so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
