My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
