how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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