Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize