have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
