gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
