I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
