bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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