Don't make out with my wife yet
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
