after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
