I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We were destined to go to rehab together
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
