I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
