Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
