somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
