mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
is it fun? or sober?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
