all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
