You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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