i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
