I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
