you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so let's talk penis.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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