I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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