in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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