In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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