I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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