Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
