ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
