Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
