spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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