He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
