Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize