Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
