so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
PANTIES FOUND
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