Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
handjob tips. give me some.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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