I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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