C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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