And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
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Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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