Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
