And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize