Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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