# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize