Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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