i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
