just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
