Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
