this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
