so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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