So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.