You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat