3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
