no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
