ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
