Porn is love you can see.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
