Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
