I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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