Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
