Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
