so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
