its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
