i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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